Long day

I was away for just under 15 hours yesterday, but it felt like a week. The trip went well, and it was nice (though completely disorienting) to be a grown up speaking in complete sentences. I wore heels, for crying out loud -- haven't done that in at least 6 months.

But boy-oh-boy did I want to get back home. Though I miss Lizzie incrediby when I travel, I can bear the separation because she's already so independent. Being away from Alice felt deeply unsettling and unnatural: she's just way too little, and our physical separation (through her birth) is far too recent. Before yesterday, I'd left the house just once without Alice, for about an hour to get my haircut, and even that was difficult. Thankfully, I don't need to leave Alice again anytime in the immediate future.

The day away reminds me how lucky I am to have my six week maternity leave augmented by a full semester teaching leave. Before having a baby of my own, I might have agreed with U.S. custom that a 6 week maternity leave should be adequate. (6 weeks seemed like an eternity to my childless self.) But I now realize how incredibly paltry that is. The Europeans have this one right. If ever there is a time in one's life that merits social support, it's maternity. (And parternity, for that matter.) I would gladly push back my retirement age in exchange for more generous parental leave -- and I strongly suspect I'm not alone. (Perhaps the French protesters would beg to differ, but they already have a much more generous (i.e. civilized) leave policy.) Think about it: most people will enjoy DECADES of retirement, and yet get (or take) just months or weeks for tending to their newborns and young children. Not only is the marginal utility of parental leave almost certainly higher on the relevant margin for parents, but there is clear positive externality for paternity leave -- better adjusted children with fewer illnesses.

We've become a nation in which most families are dual income. That's great for so many reasons, not least of which is the clear expansion of women's opportunities -- but when so few parents (of either gender) feel able to take extended leaves for family care, increased workforce participation surely levies a steep social and personal cost. (Keep in mind that I write this from the perspective of a two-academic family: we have incredible flexibility in our schedules and are darned grateful for it. I'm not complaining! But so many others (the vast majority of new parents) aren't nearly so fortunate. Can you imagine taking just 6 weeks of unpaid leave from your 50 hour a week, rigidly scheduled job, worring about the financial cost the whole time? (Very likely your spouse would get no leave whatsoever -- either the FMLA wouldn't apply, or because your finances wouldn't allow it.) Scary. That's enough of a Halloween tale to keep me up nights.