New developments

Alice is growing like a weed, physically and cognitively. Her body has rounded out in the past month. Where she used to have skinny little chicken legs (at least compared to her sister at the same age), she now has dimpled little thighs. Long lean fingers have been replaced by tiny little sausages, and her tummy and face are rounder too. I'm so proud. (It's one of the stranger side effects of oxytocin: pride in making one's baby cherubically chubby.) Her hair is thinning, but she still sports far more than Lizzie did at this point.

Alice is showing us more of her personality and special baby skills every day. She now bats at toys, and I'm convinced it's intentional. She'll look at a toy on her play gym, bat it, watch it move until it stops swinging, then bat it again. She also grasps the rings on her play gym, but that's clearly accidental at this point. She often hangs on for minutes at a time, poor dear.

Alice has a wide array of vocalizations -- coos, and squeaks, squeals and clicks. She uses her voice to convey both pleasure (when batting toys, for example), and frustration. She also cries more than she used to (which was next to never). In the past week and a half, we've heard a real, honest to goodness scream-cry on three occasions: vaccinations, when Lizzie fell on her bouncy chair (which was scary, but didn't hurt her in any way), and again when I very gently helped her roll from front to back (which must have been scary given her reaction). Alice gets pretty ornery before about 50% of her bedtimes, and she'll cry then, but never for very long. And she doesn't come close to Lizzie's old pterodactyl cries. Still no laugh, but I swear we're getting close.

Smiles are now easy and often. Alice wakes with a giant grin from almost any nap, and (unfortunately) sometimes in the middle of the night. The smile is incredibly cute -- it's just so big and so very enthusiastic -- but it's dangerous. It means, without a doubt, that she'll want to interact properly -- ideally for about an hour and quarter -- before she'll even contemplate sleep again. Alice has also started smiling when I talk but she can't see me. A high pitched "hello, sweet baby" is sure to earn a charming, gummy reward.

Sleep is progressing nicely too. Alice and Lizzie are now on remarkably similar schedules. Both go to bed between 6:30-7pm, and wake up between 6-7am. (Earlier on some unfortunate mornings, and a tiny bit later very very rarely -- only if it's been a rough night for all four of us.) Alice wakes once, roughly 7-8 hours later (between 1 and 3am), and again 3-4 hours later. If the timing is just right, this means that she wakes only once during the night to eat! (I'd say I get this lucky 25-30% of the time recently.)

Alice tends to stay awake for about an hour and a half first thing in the morning before she takes morning nap #1. This first nap is pretty consistent, but short at 30-45 minutes. The rest of the morning is a bit spottier. Alice generally wants to be awake for about an hour and 15 minutes at a time (and nap for 30-45 minutes), but her drowsy window is very short. Jump the gun, and you'll have a wide awake baby who then gets mad and wont go to sleep. Wait too long to try, and you're really in for it. So the mornings have been a challenge... (Which would be fine if if I didn't have mountains of work to do. I can definitely see the allure of stay at home parenthood.) In the afternoon, Alice goes down for a nap at the same time as Lizzie -- around 12:30-1pm. About half the time she'll take a huge nap, just like Lizzie, through 3 or even 5pm. The other half of the time (as today, unfortunately), she'll wake up after just 30 minutes, and repeat the morning quick-cycle through bedtime. (Boo. Then nothing at all gets done all day.)

Lastly: an update on Alice's cold. (We've all had this rotten cold for 2 weeks.) She's recovering well (as are we all), but slowly. The biggest side effect from the congestion is that Alice has taken to sleeping in her rocker, which elevates her head. Fine for the time being, but I worry about the long term effect of the rocker's cradled shape -- Alice doesn't have freedom to kick her arms and legs when she's in it. So we're trying to get her back down in her crib, unswaddled. So far, we've had a bunch of very short naps... but we'll persevere. The mini crib she now has is a stepping stone to her big crib... and that's the key to getting out of our room and into Lizzie's! (We're still not sure when we'll make that jump -- we don't want Liz and Alice to wake each other up in the night -- but boy am I looking forward to being able to turn on my bedside light again!)

So that's the news. Until next time...

I forgot

to say that Alice's first Thanksgiving was spent sleeping in her carseat, sleeping off the vaccinations from the previous day...

Turkey Day and shots

Alice had a visit to the doctor on Wednesday, and she got a bunch of shots. She didn't like any of them. She seems to be thriving and in good health, except for the cold that has infected the whole family.

Her sleep schedule continues to evolve. In fact, we think that some of the evening grumpies were induced by us. About a week ago, we started settling her to bed at 7, and that seems to work pretty well. So it is possible that we kept her up with us during the evening when all she wanted was to go to bed. Other than that, the afternoon nap looks to be regularizing, which is great.

Based on her measurements at the doc, she is average in length, and about 80th percentile in weight.

Every day she is more alert, and we are having a hard time settling her. The doctor said there is a window 8-16 weeks when babies are alert enough that they can't be settled by their parents and they don't know how to settle themselves to sleep. Hopefully this will pass soon.

Thank you, Alice! (Nighty night by 7pm)

Alice reached a major milestone yesterday and last night: a big girl sleep pattern! Alice took a 3.5 hour nap yesterday afternoon, which is somewhat unusual, but not unprecedented. What was new is that her nap coincided with Lizzie's almost perfectly. Eric and I found ourselves with more than three blessed hours of free time in the afternoon. It's amazing how much we accomplished: I set up Lizzie's easel and playroom in the basement, Eric fixed a leak in the car, I reupholstered the footstools, Eric spent more than an hour in the shop... AND the kitchen got clean, laundry was folded, and clutter was corralled. Truly amazing.

Feeling bullish, we then decided to try to settle Alice upstairs at the same time Lizzie worked through her nighttime ritual (bath, books, etc.). Both were tucked in by 6:45pm. We had to go up a few times for each (and a few times for both -- negative complementarities), but no more than half a dozen times, total, and never for more than a few minutes. By 8:30pm both girls were out cold. We enjoyed evening tea in peace for the first time in more than a month. Wow. What a difference.

The tally: Alice slept from 6:45pm-2:30am, woke for about 10 minutes to nurse, fell right back to sleep, and was out until 6:30am, at which point we all got up for the morning. (Lizzie woke once at 4am to pee, used the potty and went right back to sleep until 6:30.) Yay, team!

Coos

Alice has been making lots of coos and gurgles lately. I had forgotten how cute they are. She is also becoming so much more alert and interactive during her play time. On Wednesday, she completed her first observed intentional hand to mouth movement to suck on her fist. She's very strong, and does a great job pushing up during tummy time.

Her sleep schedule is starting to regularize, much to her parents' delight. She's even started soothing herself to sleep, which is great. We still usually have some evening fussies, but its getting better.

Bye for now.

Double Team!

So last night, Lizzie and Alice teamed up for a special Saturday night. We'd actually had pretty smooth sailing until then...

Just as Lizzie was finishing up her bath, Alice decided it was time for dessert. No problem. Eric and I switched off (I'd been doing the bath while he soothed Alice), and I sat down to nurse Alice for a few more minutes. Eric got Lizzie out of the bath, and headed downstairs to get some milk. Lizzie was running around in the buff, as usual, in her usual delay to put on her bedtime diaper and PJs. A minute later (with Alice still nursing), I heard Lizzie say "poop!"

Okay, I figured. She farted or thinks she needs to sit on the potty. (Probably just a rouse to read "go dog go" yet again -- her potty book these days.) "I'll be there in a minute, honey," I called.

Lizzie showed up in the bedroom where Alice and I were sitting. "Poop," very matter of factly. "Okay honey, I'll be there in a minute. Go sit on the potty and I'll be right in."

"Coco!!!" Now with urgency. Hmm... something's wrong. I could hear Eric coming back up the stairs... then whoosh! Barf. Everywhere. I'd say a good 24-30" arc out of Alice, in several rounds, onto everything: rug, rocking chair, me, baby...

"Hey Eric? I could use some help here..."

At the same time, from the other room: "Oh wow Liz! You did poop!" I heard him say. "But next time let's try to put it IN the potty..." It was on the floor by the bed (not the rug, thank goodness).

On my own, I trudged out of the bedroom, dripping in barf (knees to armpits on one side -- pretty nice shot, kiddo!). And on the way to the bathroom I stepped in a stray poop-dollop. I felt the wet in my toes just as Eric said "watch your feet..."

UGH. So yeah, a rockin' Saturday night for us. Alice got a second bath. Lizzie got to stay up a little late, and Eric and I had a chance to spot clean the floors in much of the upstairs. Incredibly, the girls were both tucked into bed and sleeping soundly before 8pm. (Alice woke for her evening grumps shortly later, but that's another matter...) I even got to take a long bubble bath, guilt free. I earned that one.

Smiles

Alice is doing very well these days, and is now 5 week old. Earlier this week, she treated us to her first social smiles. She seems to have figured it out now, because she smiles all the time when she gets attention.

To mom and dad's relief, there seems to be some progress on her sleep schedule. It is certainly evolving, and with a little bit of creative interpretation, one could say she is getting close to the 3 naps per day schedule which is common for infants. Most importantly, bedtime seems to be getting earlier...midnight was not sustainable.

Bye.

Long day

I was away for just under 15 hours yesterday, but it felt like a week. The trip went well, and it was nice (though completely disorienting) to be a grown up speaking in complete sentences. I wore heels, for crying out loud -- haven't done that in at least 6 months.

But boy-oh-boy did I want to get back home. Though I miss Lizzie incrediby when I travel, I can bear the separation because she's already so independent. Being away from Alice felt deeply unsettling and unnatural: she's just way too little, and our physical separation (through her birth) is far too recent. Before yesterday, I'd left the house just once without Alice, for about an hour to get my haircut, and even that was difficult. Thankfully, I don't need to leave Alice again anytime in the immediate future.

The day away reminds me how lucky I am to have my six week maternity leave augmented by a full semester teaching leave. Before having a baby of my own, I might have agreed with U.S. custom that a 6 week maternity leave should be adequate. (6 weeks seemed like an eternity to my childless self.) But I now realize how incredibly paltry that is. The Europeans have this one right. If ever there is a time in one's life that merits social support, it's maternity. (And parternity, for that matter.) I would gladly push back my retirement age in exchange for more generous parental leave -- and I strongly suspect I'm not alone. (Perhaps the French protesters would beg to differ, but they already have a much more generous (i.e. civilized) leave policy.) Think about it: most people will enjoy DECADES of retirement, and yet get (or take) just months or weeks for tending to their newborns and young children. Not only is the marginal utility of parental leave almost certainly higher on the relevant margin for parents, but there is clear positive externality for paternity leave -- better adjusted children with fewer illnesses.

We've become a nation in which most families are dual income. That's great for so many reasons, not least of which is the clear expansion of women's opportunities -- but when so few parents (of either gender) feel able to take extended leaves for family care, increased workforce participation surely levies a steep social and personal cost. (Keep in mind that I write this from the perspective of a two-academic family: we have incredible flexibility in our schedules and are darned grateful for it. I'm not complaining! But so many others (the vast majority of new parents) aren't nearly so fortunate. Can you imagine taking just 6 weeks of unpaid leave from your 50 hour a week, rigidly scheduled job, worring about the financial cost the whole time? (Very likely your spouse would get no leave whatsoever -- either the FMLA wouldn't apply, or because your finances wouldn't allow it.) Scary. That's enough of a Halloween tale to keep me up nights.

D-Day

D-Day, as in Daddy day. Emily had to spend the day in DC, so I got to babysit both kids. Things started out on the wrong foot when Alice fussed from 9-12:30 last night. Then Liz woke up at 5:30. So I didn't get much sleep...but things turned out great. Alice slept from 7 (when Emily left) until I had to pack her up and take Liz to school. Then she slept some more until about 10:30.

Oh, of course she has started feeding from a bottle.

After getting Liz home from school and having lunch, I managed to get Liz to sleep, fed Alice and got her to sleep, and then took a nap with Abby! Alice must be paying me back for last night, because she is still asleep (with one dream-feed at 5). Or she is resting up for a long night of fussing tonight.

I guess that's about it. Pretty easy day, it went much smoother than I expected.

In general, Alice continues to have the fussies in the evening, usually starting around 8 or 9. Some night are worse than others, but its not too bad.

Bye!

The witching hours

Our babymoon has ended -- it turns out that Alice does cry after all. We've officially entered the weeks of the witching hour(s) in the early evening and into the night when Alice gets the "grumps." I suspect intestinal gas is the trigger (though I suspect she also started a growth spurt yesterday) -- at times, she's clearly in pain (contorted face, legs pulling up, tight abdomen) -- though after an hour or so of not sleeping when she's clearly tired, Alice also shows signs of being overtired (and why not?!), which makes matters that much worse. At other times, the grumps are just general end of day fussiness, though with Alice that's easily solved. She settles very quickly when held and soothed UNLESS there's periodic tummy cramping (in which case she's soothed for just a few minutes at a time). Still, compared to Lizzie at this age, Alice is easy to handle.

Apart from gassiness, we're doing very well. Alice now gives us 3-4 hours sleep at a time overnight (unless she's up with gas), and has similar stretches during the day. She falls asleep almost instantly in her carseat, whether in the stroller or the car. (Again, unless she has gas pains, in which case all bets are off.) She loves motion. Quite unlike Lizzie, Alice is tepid toward the the swaddle, and generally rejects the pacifier. The latter is particularly unfortunate, as we found the paci a wonderful soother when Lizzie had gas pains at this age. Alice's vomiting has slowed to about once a day, and is often a bit less in volume than before. The jury's still out on this one, though -- if indeed she's going through a growth spurt, it may explain the reduction in vomiting. (She's eating (necessarily) smaller meals more frequently, and probably getting more hindmilk as a result.)

We've had a few firsts: first family trip to the park (Alice slept the whole time, and Lizzie had a ball with both parents there to marvel at her athletic feats); first sniffle (already resolved itself for Alice -- Lizzie is on week two of a runny nose); first day without an umbilical cord stump. To celebrate the last of these, we'll give Alice her first tub bath tonight!

Well baby checkup: thumbs up

Alice got a big thumbs up at her (almost) 2-week checkup today. She has regained all of her birthweight plus an ounce. A "very nice weight gain" according to the doc. She has excellent muscle tone, too. (Why, of course! ;) )

Our biggest concern (and only concern, really) was her frequent voluminous vomiting (uber spit-ups really -- full stomach contents projected with gusto after particularly large feeds). The doc said it's just excess milk she's taking on baord, but that she's clearly getting enough down to stay healthy; the barfs are just a nuisance (you can say that again). Most likely, little Alice likes the comfort of feeding, and just wants to extend the experience. Only trouble is, my milk supply is a bit more than is called for at present, so she overindulges. The result: mega-barfs at least once a day. (Good thing I have two bathrobes.) In any event, I'm just relieved that she's healthy. We'll work on the overeaters annonymous bit next.

More anon, but in the meantime my services are needed by the little sticker.

Hello!

Please give a warm welcome to Alice Furstenberg! Mother, father and baby are all doing great. Alice's birthday is September 24, 2010 at 11:53pm. She tipped the scales at 9 pounds and 1 ounce and measured 20.75 inches long and had a head circumference of 14 inches. Alice was born at Martha Jefferson Hospital in Charlottesville Virgina.

Alice has one sister, Lizzie. You can read about her here: www.elizabethfurstenberg.blogspot.com

We'll have lots more news in the coming weeks months and years.